How To Train Your Fairy
by Daamile
Summary: In the far lands of the Takarada Kingdom, Kyoko The Plain finds herself pursuing a fairy to become a princess. Capturing a fairy grandfather was just the first of many mistakes. How To Train your Dragon book adaptation AU.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Long ago, in the majestic woods of the Takarada Kingdom, a simple-faced princess candidate stood with her boots in the mud. Kyoko the Plain, single child of the admirable and most ancient House Mogami - a lineage of cooks from Kyoto, had been feeling slightly sick ever since she woke up that morning. It was the afternoon of the spring equinox, and she, along with seven girls, was standing on the edge of the palace gardens.

"Pay attention, brave girls, to the words I say; simple rules should be followed to guide your way," warned Erika the Gifted, who was in charge of the initiation.

"Oh no, please tell me you're not going to rhyme the instructions too," groaned Kanae the Cold Beauty, causing the other girls to giggle.

"Shh now, Lady Kanae, the princess is an expert! I'm sure rhymes were an important part of her past winning strategy," interjected Kimiko the Honeyed Voice, in her grating, nasal tone.

"Or it could be a cheap deception, so we don't take her place next year," suggested Chiori the Cunning, with a sly smile.

"You'll be oblivious without compliance, so I require your silence!" growled Erika.

All the girls stopped immediately. They each hoped to pass the initiation and become the next princess, but they would have to survive the deadly fairy kingdom first. Kyoko, in particular, needed all the help she could get.

"Now, that's proper. In this kingdom only the purest and bravest of heart, tame fairy grandmothers - a fine and dangerous art. In the next three months a wish you should demand, to be the princess and ruler in one of our... _land."_

"She's missing an S!" whispered Chiori.

"Ahem," Erika cleared her throat, "If, by the summer solstice you fail to enchant the enchanted, you must set them free, that's all the time you've been granted. They will grow bored of pampering and sugar, and will simply kill you."

A shiver went through all of them at the failed rhyme.

"As in all good quests, this one has three tests." She pointed her finger upwards. "First you have to find a fairy ring, wait for the sundown start and step in; it's a portal to their kingdom that only opens in the spring."

That much Kyoko knew. Since she was a child, she saw strange auras coming from the circles of mushrooms. Like any good, sensible person, she made sure to stay away from wild magic.

Erika lifted another perfectly polished finger. "Second, follow after the giggles and trails of fun, you'll find fairies at the end, make sure to pick one. Once your trap of fruits and glitter is in a jar, lay it down nearby because they won't travel far.

The third and final finger joined the others.

"With or without a captured fae you must come back; the third step is to return by sundown, so don't slack! A warning before you go, just one thing makes them mad; do not dare be rude, or they will curse you bad. You, as in, all your ten pretty faces; they don't look at particulars, just races."

"I have a question." Momose The Skilled politely raised her hand. "Why is there a commoner between us? She's not even a low-born noble."

"Shh child, she was personally appointed by the king. Now off you go! PEASANTS OR PRINCESSES!"

"PEASANTS OR PRINCESSES!" screamed Kimiko, Mimori, and Rumiko enthusiastically.

"Peasants or Princesses..." came a weak chorus from Chiori, Kanae, and Momose.

"... peasants," mumbled Kyoko.

Surely, you already guessed that Kyoko was an intruder. For starters, she was so plain that she could never pass for royal by mistake. Someone as polished as Kimiko would be a better princess any day, with her perfect hair, exquisite dresses, and impeccable lineage. Granted that her flawless aura was destroyed as soon as she spoke with that nasally voice, but it was all still very regal.

Kyoko, on the other hand, had a plain, childish face, straight, dark hair, and defined muscles from working hard everyday. At least her eyes were princess like, golden, sparkly, and expressive, but it was as good as nothing since no one cared about her face in the kitchen.

You would never pick her to be the hero of this story, and no matter how much she fantasized about it in private, she'd never be chosen as a princess candidate. In fact, Shotaro made sure to scream this point for the whole kitchen to hear, right as King Lory passed by. His Majesty was highly impressed by her spirit - or perhaps more accurately her punching skills - and ordered her to attend this afternoon meeting with the other potential princesses. "Our kingdom's exceeds in beauty and cunning, but we're lacking in spirit!" were his words.

"Ok girls, now that Rhyme Princess is gone," Kimiko started with her nasaled tone, "I say that if this commoner is so special, she must be able to find her way alone. We nobles should team up."

Kyoko's inner demons perked up at the jab. The king was adamant in his instructions to address others as she would her own kitchen staff. There was no reason to keep a low profile.

"Marvelous plan, Lady Kimiko," she intruded. "I really should rest my unworthy peasant legs, while you brave ladies explore the wild, dangerous woods."

"What do you mean?" inquired Mimori The Bountiful.

"I know where a fairy ring is, my lady. That is, I know where one spawned this morning."

"What a filthy, lying commoner!" Mimori dismissed with a laugh. "How could you possibly?"

Kyoko smoothed her hands over her apron and bowed the prettiest courtesy she was able. "Your faithful servant happened to be gathering mushrooms for breakfast this morning. I can bring you to the place if you wish."

Kimiko snickered.

"What a daring little thing you are. Deceptive too, if my instincts are not mistaken." She chirruped a fake laugh, _once again_. By this point, Kyoko thought, surely her throat must be hurting. "Come, girls, it will be quicker if we bring along the hunting dogs."

Kyoko straightened when she was sure their hideous chatter was far away and was surprised to still see Chiori, Kanae, and Momose waiting in front of her.

"Pardon me, but I didn't catch your name," said Momose.

"Kyoko The Plain, my lady."

Momose held a concentrated expression for a while.

"Very well, Kyoko The Plain! We shall follow your lead, please guide us that remain," she announced.

"C' mon, couldn't you have rhymed with brain?" Chiori smiled devilishly. "Those three sure don't have any."

That brought out a laugh from Kanae, and after some quick introductions and obligatory pleasantries, Kyoko started to feel a tiny bit better. These ladies were not so bad, not at all.

It was an easy walk upriver through the woods. The smell of blooming flowers smoothed the way, and Lady Chiori made sure to keep them all entertained with sordid rumors from previous initiations. The group reached the fairy ring in half an hour, and decided to use the rest of the afternoon to enjoy a picnic with the excess food, since they had much too much just for bait. When the sun descended, the potential princess candidates were all ready and well rested.

Kyoko could feel when the mushroom circle trembled, and the aura changed around it, emanating a sweet taste that sprinkled onto her nose. The princess candidates stepped in one by one, jars in hand.

The change was immediate.

As Kyoko lowered her foot, the sky rotated in the background of a pantomime, and the air glowed with a pink and blue shimmer, like a world inside a soap bubble.

Childlike giggling caught her attention, and after a quick search, they identified a fairy party near the river bank. There were more of them in that crevice than she imagined could exist in the entire world. A massive swarm of tiny creatures flew around, creating streams of shifting color in the air. Their music was so contagious that it reverberated throughout her body, making her heart beat in unison.

In the corner of her eye, Kyoko saw the others scattered around.

Lady Kanae chose to pursue a blue-winged stream, Lady Chiori was enchanted by some purple fairies, and oddly enough, Lady Momose was surrounded by a crowd of the creatures as soon as she opened her jar.

Kyoko panicked a little. She had no idea what was a good or a bad option; they all looked alike! She decided to pursue one that was far away from the group on top of a rock, an easier target. She set the jar behind it.

It looked at her through its sparkly fringe of golden hair.

"Really?" It said. "You want to lure me?"

"Aaaaahn," was all that she mustered. She had heard a lot of advice, but no one prepared her with 'the best arguments to win against a fairy'.

"Fine, fine I'll play along." It rolled its tiny eyes at her. "Glass jar and food and a wannabe princess, oh my..."

It nonchalantly walked into the jar, kicked a piece of cake loose and started munching on it. She closed the lid with trembling fingers. She did it. She actually did it!

As Kyoko began her retreat to the portal, the little fairy opened its mouth and let a sparkly stream of goo run down over the cake.

"Blerg, this is sweeeeeeet." It spat. "I only like salty treats!"

"S-Sorry little enchanted," she tried to be polite. "I just ate the last of my bread and cheese."

It put both hands on its hips.

" _Argh._ I tried, I really did, but I can't do it."

The next words were loud and cast otherworldly inside her head.

"SUBJECTS, THIS PLAIN GIRL GOT ME TRAPPED IN A JAR OF SWEETS. GET ME OUT THIS INSTANT!"

Apparently, the message played in the fairies' heads too, since all giggling died instantly and they were suddenly airborne.

"RUN!" Kyoko screamed at the top of her lungs, running erratically to avoid the jets of magic hurtling towards her.

"Trip and fall, stupid noble!" She heard its tiny voice filled with anger.

Very briefly, her legs went slack, but she recovered quickly and kept her pace. Luckily, the portal was nearby. Kyoko managed to jump inside right after Lady Momose, the last one. They ran until the sky was dark and breathlessly reached the castle grounds.

"What did you do?" asked a panting Chiori. "I've never heard of the fairies being mad like this before!"

"I don't know!" she sat in the grass. "I followed what Lady Erika said, but apparently it dislikes sweets."

"And how do you know that?" asked Kanae, clutching her side.

"It won't shut up about it!" Kyoko ran a hand through her uneven hair.

"What?" Chiori questioned. "Can you understand what it says?"

"Can't you?" Kyoko lifted the jar, presenting the tiny creature to them. He was busy alternating between sticking out his tongue and taunting her with low words that only stable boys were supposed to know.

Momose, Chiori, and Kanae stared at it, wide-eyed.

"Why did you grab a male fairy?"

"What?" Kyoko squinted. "How would I know it's male?"

"Just look at its masculine face!" Momose raged. "Didn't you check before luring it in?"

"I wanted to be quick!" Kyoko stammered. "His voice was so high pitched and I thought…"

Suddenly, the jar slid through her numb fingers.

"Behold," Kimiko's smile was venomous, like an evil child for whom Christmas came early, "the peasant has a fairy-grand _father!"_

 **As mentioned in my short story collection, this is a story based on a prompt to merge another tale I love with Skip Beat. I went with a How to Train your Dragon book adaptation.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Kyoko The Plain walked into the Royal Library with a bundle in her arms and uncertainty in her step. She could see through the windows that it was a fine morning, the weather was so splendid that it was almost a crime not to take advantage of it, really! A distinguished looking man caught her eyes before she could successfully flee from the room.

"My _lady_ , how rare of you to visit me." His smile was impeccable.

 _Commoners do know how to differentiate gender, do they not?_ Kimiko's voice echoed menacingly through her mind, _This is too good, POOR THING MUST BE BLIND, HAHA!"_

Kyoko made an effort to smile back at Yukihito The Erudite, the royal librarian, and forget the venomous laughing from yesterday.

"You know I'm no lady, Lord Yukihito. Has your throat gotten better? Please stop by the kitchen for some more soup - it's important to take good care of your health."

"I'm splendid thanks to you," he bowed with a flourish. "The King informed me of your situation beforehand, and I have just the book you need. I'm so pleased to know you've finally entered the Princess competition."

 _Not a noble, but a Stupid COOK! Ha! You MUST have enchanted the King with sweets because clearly, it wasn't your BRAINS!_ Kimiko had laughed so hard that Mimori had to hold her upright.

"Thank you," Kyoko muttered, trying to smile back.

"Come with me please," he took her arm in his, "the other candidates are already inside."

"Others?"

 _Ladies, who want to place bets? Mine is that she will be dead in a WEEK!_ Kimiko's smile had been vicious.

Kyoko tightened the grip on her jar but followed dutifully alongside Lord Yukihito, who glided through the tapestry with such grace that any lake swan would be put to shame. He seemed to almost float among the towering stacks of books, like a regent among his court. Rainbows of light glittered over them from the high stained glass windows, and Kyoko felt the enchantment of magic in the air. She was just noticing how much larger the building seemed with so few people when they reached their destination. At the gilded arch for 'Magic and Otherworldly Subjects', he bowed once more.

Kyoko, who was feeling rather skeptical of nobles this morning, tentatively peered over his shoulder and glimpsed Lady Chiori and Lady Kanae, engaged in a passionate discussion from their respective sofas.

"Pardon me Sir, but one of the empty tables would be fine."

"I'm afraid there is but one copy of the required volume," he apologized. "You needn't worry about those two ladies. If you let them know you better, you will find them quite amiable."

Kyoko considered his words recalling that, though nobles, they had laughed _with her_ and not _at her_ , so she bid him farewell and took a daring step forward.

"I told you it would be like this." Lady Kanae the Cold Beauty scolded.

"Still, you must agree that _precise_ is a very lacking description," Lady Chiori the Cunning argued.

"Lacking but accurate."

"We need a third opinion," Lady Chiori perked up. "Kyoko dear, come and help me prove a point."

Kyoko finally took a seat, set her jar with the others on the table, and ignored the stream of profanity that erupted from it.

"As you wish."

"Please, describe what you see. I want your _exact_ thoughts," Lady Chiori requested, setting a thin book in her hands.

"Ahn… The cover is velvety smooth, with ornate silver clasps, and the title calligraphy is pink and shimmering. It looks very… inviting." Kyoko cleared her throat and opened the front cover and used her reading voice. "How to Train your Fairy, by Her Royal Majesty, Queen Jelly Woods. _About the Author:_ Jelly The Witch united the dissident woods people into the Takarada Kingdom, by helping King Lory repel Fukushima's invasion. She was given the title of 'Most Charming Lady in the Kingdom', and also founded the princess-by-fairy succession method. Queen Jelly resides at Takarada Castle, with her husband, King Lory. This book is the culmination of her field experience with fairies, and the definitive textbook on the subject of these fascinating creatures."

Kyoko looked up. "This looks impressive, and should be just what I need."

Lady Chiori motioned for her to go on.

"Chapter one, and only," she continued. "How to train your fairy: _Sing to it._ The song's effectiveness is increased by adding a dance number and engaging the aid of forest animals. _Fin_."

She flipped the page, but there was nothing more. The book had only one sheet of paper.

There was silence for a bit.

"So?" asked Lady Kanae.

"Am I missing something?" Kyoko turned the book over in her hands.

"Words. You are missing words," Chiori answered. "See, she is on my side. I am not singing for three-plus months, the idea is ludicrous!"

"Last year I thought the same thing and was forced to withdraw when nothing else worked," Lady Kane explained. "Lady Erika, on the other hand, hired a minstrel, rhymed every sentence, and got goats to do a ballet number. Within one week, her wish was granted."

"Do you believe the fairy really liked it?" Lady Chiori made a face. "Perhaps in truth, it hated it all and cursed Lady Erika to speak in rhymes forever."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lady Kanae shook her head and motioned to the table. "The fairy has to fall in love in order to grant a wish. Let's try it."

Kyoko put the book down, took a deep breath to calm her inner demons, and finally paid attention to the central table, where the two uncovered creatures idly chatted about dew drops. Now that she was close, it was easy to identify the rounded features on the other fairies. They indeed looked more feminine than the one she had hidden under a dishrag - no more clear shot for its spells.

Lady Chiori got her purple jar with a refined swirl and exercised her vocal cords into an impressive up-down scale. Her fairy flew in loops and clapped, delighted.

Lady Kanae sang a wordless tune that made her blue fairy so touched it cried tiny sapphire tears.

"Wow, they really loved it," Kyoko observed one fairy bragging to the other about whose potential-princess had the best voice.

"Now it's your turn," Lady Chiori insisted.

"But I have as much charm as a log, and singing is just another thing I'm useless at," she whined. "I'm not called 'Kyoko the plain' for nothing."

"Oh, I thought it was because of the..." Lady Chiori tried to motion to her chest area apologetically patted Kyoko's hands instead. "Nevermind then!"

"Try it."

Something in Lady Kanae's stoic posture gave her the strength to woman up. After all, a true princess never backed down from a challenge, no matter how ridiculous her back looked afterward. Kyoko the Plain cleared her throat and unveiled her jar. The tiny, blonde, winged creature looked up at her, waiting with enormous, innocent, emerald green eyes.

"Good morning, are you hungry?" Koko sang the words in what she hoped was a reasonable mezzo-soprano voice.

She felt like her soul was being sucked away when it flashed its hypnotic, dashing smile at her. The other fairies sighed in unison. Kyoko dared to think things were not so bad, not so bad at all when it leaned back and snapped its fingers.

"Wow, you are dumber than I imagined, fathead donkey-harpy. Just hearing you makes me lose my appetite."

Kyoko let out a yelp and touched her burning ears, and suddenly they grew taller and became furry.

"Oh my, your poor ears!" Lady Chiori gasped. "I can't believe it, you really can speak fairy language!"

"Why is it so displeased? What is it saying?" Lady Kanae asked.

"That I'm stupid," Kyoko whined, rubbing her donkey ears that would no longer fit properly in a chef hat. "Oi, are those manners for a fairy prince? You swear like a pig. Do they call you Prince Pig back in your land?"

"You!" It got up and snapped its fingers again, "I'm Kuon the Bewitching, prince of the riverbank enchanted. You are the pig here, stupid noble."

Kyoko felt her nose warm this time. Pig nose? An evil smile spread on her lips.

"Noble? Unfortunately for you little Lord Kuon, I'm not a noble. I'm a proud cook, thank you very much. This means I'm not obliged to noble manners."

Without a drop of shame, Kyoko pressed her nose to the jar and started oinking loudly. It was almost as good as the real thing.

"Stop! Stop that! I demand you behave!" the fairy held its hands over its ears.

"I'm afraid it's impossible." She rotated the jar into a better angle. "You exposed my true fathead donkey-pig nature."

"Alright, alright, you win," he screamed, covering an ear with one hand and snapping his fingers with the other.

Kyoko reached up to touch her face, warm and tingling. With everything seeming to be in order, she set the jar back on the table.

"Singing won't do," she declared out loud. "It doesn't seem to be a fan."

Lady Chiori and Lady Kanae simply gawped at her.

"I've never seen anything like this before! You were just clicking melodically back and forth, and I didn't understand a word!"

"Maybe you could use this as a strategy," Lady Kanae suggested.

"Learn to be a princess the hard way," Lady Chiori agreed.

"Well…" Kyoko had observed the other fairies, singing and trying to capture the attention of her fairy with colorful sparkles, but it just turned its back to them and sat alone. "Singing won't do, but I'm pretty good at arguing. Maybe instead of charming it, I can _convince it_ to grant me a wish."

"Oh dear, that's not how love works," Lady Chiori once more patted her hand sympathetically, "but you might as well try. Besides, what could go wrong?"

§

 **Hi there people. I'm writing this as a way to destress from Quantum Skip, so don't expect any release cadence or regularity,** _ **sorry**_ **.**

 **Meanwhile, go appreciate this drawing I did for the cover. It's also a little teaser for next chapter** **/fairykuon**

 **PS: I'm trying to think on nice Princes for this universe. Ogata? Hikaru? Kijima or Koga? Let me know your favorites.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Meanwhile, deep in the Takarada forest, meters below the surface laid the remains of a magic horror. It was indescribably large and populated with extensive plant life and families of little animals. So long ago had it been deactivated, that the humans above mistook it for a valley.

All except the shamans of Fukushima. When they happened upon an ancient scroll that foretold the tale of old, black eyes glimmered with lust for ancient magic - a dark desire shared by their king. They dispatched spies and researchers, and within a week had found the first magic word.

The only indication that something was amiss, was a faint, red light, shining up from below the roots of an oak, somewhere north of Takarada Castle. No human knew that the ritual had begun, as the magic orbs opened to an oblivious landscape, unseen for centuries.

§

From afar, Kyoko studied how the others enchanted their fairies, and after observing how much the little creatures enjoyed the act, she attempted to combine the singing method with the arguing method. It was all to no avail. Prince Kuon's hocus-pocus was meaner on the days she tried to rhyme, but in the end, she was always able to annoy him into restoring her original form.

Whether to spite her or because it was his natural habit, her fairy-grand _father_ consumed very little food, if any at all. Perhaps he was also sick of the smell, having been left on the kitchen counter for days - but it was easier to keep track of him that way. There, she could keep an eye on him as she kneaded the dough, or more accurately kneaded her frustrations out. Despite being an enchanting, golden fairy, Prince Kuon had an untamable personality.

The last drop of Kyoko's singing patience went a week after his capture, when, for the first time, he bewitched something other than her. It was mid-morning, and when her mind searched for a word that rhymed with _silk_ , all she could think of was _bilk_.

In response, Kuon soured all the _milk_.

"Gadzooks! You wicked, evil, little prince! You knew how many hours I spent with the cows today," Kyoko fumed.

"The best rhyme should be right below your nose, don't you agree?" Kuon the Bewitching smiled wickedly, "This captive life is boring, I was simply trying to _help_!"

She couldn't help but stare hopelessly at her buckets, disparaging all the meals that were now ruined.

"Help me? Most likely trying to get me beheaded for missing work! I can forgive you enchanting my face, there is nothing special there, but do not dare to ruin an honest day of work. A pampered little whelp like you, who never had to do a thing for himself, could never understand. This isn't worth the effort!" she yelled, shaking the jar until he looked at her face. "I will open this lid right now and drown you in the river with my laundry, so that I can clean your existence from my memory!"

"If you so much as try it, I'll transform you into a whale, you giant woman," the fairy prince sneered. "But if you set me free _now_ , I won't curse you so harshly. What do you think of gills? Could be useful in your line of work. No? Perhaps tentacles then..."

"Oi, why are you chiming and clicking? Dim as you are, even you could not forget how to speak."

The familiar voice threatened to ignite Kyoko's boiling rage.

"I have no time to deal with you now Shotaro, get out of my kitchen."

"These are the manners you greet the court minstrel with?" Shotaro jibed, chewing on a piece of bread. "Careful Kyoko the Plain, you wouldn't want me to spread any rumors about you."

"You could do better than telling the truth," Kyoko snarled, her demons perking up. "You failed so miserably at cooking that you had to join the circus for a chance in life. Are you equally inept at insults as you are in the kitchen?"

"Tch, I can cook just fine," Shotaro scoffed around a mouthful of bread, "and unlike you, I don't need to live off my parent's fame."

"Is. That. A. Challenge?" Kyoko's demons wailed against Shotaro's cool demeanor with each word. "Do you want to see who can put on a finer banquet?"

"Who is that rooster, peasant? And weren't you busy with drowning me today?" Kuon's protested, but she ignored _him_ and just set his jar on the table.

"Why would I bother?" Shotaro crossed his arms. "We both know well you would lose. This bread is the proof. You could never match my mother's skill, let alone mine _._ "

"This bread is perfect in every way. The taste, texture, and aroma are flawless, which you know well." Kyoko's eyes were on fire. "Your lazy, half-assed recipes could never hope to compare."

"Prove it then." Shotaro towered over her, inches from her face. "Make me the finest bread pudding you are able, and we shall see."

"Hey! He is trying to trick you, fool," Kuon complained, conjuring a torrent of fealthers over her head. "Can you not see that?"

"Shut up Kuon," Kyoko brushed them out of her hair. "You don't know him, stay out of this."

"Kyoko, princesses are supposed to sing, not shriek." Shotaro picked a feather from her shoulder and brushed it against her nose. "Is this your way of bail on this?"

She had the perfect retort for that, but the feather made her sneeze so hard that she lost her balance and tripped over a bucket of sour milk. Fortunately, Shotaro grabbed hold of her waist just in time to stop her from falling.

"I have no intention of thanking you," she almost spat in his face.

"A damsel in distress act?" He leaned closer. "That's the first thing you got right today."

 _Poof_.

Kyoko lost her balance again and had to hold the barrel to stop herself from toppling over.

Shotaro had vanished.

"I thought your strategy was to argue with me, not him," Kuon pouted from the table. He looked evil, his eyes glowing red and his aura turned purple.

"Ahn… It was never a plan," Kyoko caught herself apologizing. "Shotaro just brings the worst out in me. Speaking of which, where did he go?"

"In the sty, bickering with his friends," Kuon crossed his arms.

"Fitting." She sat down to catch her breath. Shotaro and the chickens, what could be more perfect? "Well little lord, I'm sorry I interrupted our previous discussion so rudely. Shall we go back? Milk and Gills?"

"No, I'm tired now." Kuon turned away, showing her his back. "Bring me that fine bread of yours, so I can recharge my magic."

Kyoko stopped dead in the middle of straightening her apron. It was the first time Kuon asked for any food, let alone _praised_ something she had done. Was he jealous of the attention she paid Shotaro?

She didn't know why he felt that way, but finally, she had something she could work with.

"Of course… I'll bring it right away," she smiled despite herself.

Later that morning, she discovered that with minimum effort applied, the bad milk would turn to cheese in her hands. Even better, it was a very fine cheese, rich and smooth; like nothing she had tried before.

That night, Kyoko went to sleep early.

Kuon's curse had actually been helpful. The trick with the sty supplied her with an infinite stock of chicken jokes to use against Shotaro, and Kuon's jealousy set her on a new path for the Princess contest. She yawned, feeling pleased. If he wanted to wake her, it would have taken all of Kuon's magical energy, so deeply did Kyoko the Plain sleep that night.

§

 **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**


	4. Chapter 4

Kyoko's spring days went by as smoothly and chaotically as the flying path of a pollen-hungover bee. Since the Shotaro-chicken incident, Kuon had stopped the pesky magic and fleeing attempts altogether, but she had a bad feeling about it. His little smug, nonchalant posture put her ill at ease.

"Hmmm… this cheese _is so goo-ood!_ "

Despite managing to double the syllables on that word, her appreciation fell flat on the accompanying party. The pond ducks were the only ones to quack back, very politely.

Kyoko glared at Yukihito The Erudite and Kuon the Bewitching, both idly appreciating the afternoon break, immersed in their own thoughts. She had invited them to test her jealousy theory. The past castle incident had made her wonder; what had worked up Koun: the food, the arguing or Shotaro? She quickly discarded Sho as an option. For sure the minstrel was annoying, but he could annoy anyone if he wanted. She would not depend on his presence to advance in her fairy-training.

Kyoko elbowed Lord Yukihito in the ribs, trying to incite a response.

"Very exquisite cheese indeed, and what superb nectar these cherries provide…" he exclaimed without stopping his scribbling.

" _Not the sweets, he hates it,"_ Kyoko whispered with her mouth closed.

"Do you mind repeating the word for _cheese_ again? slower this time," Lord Yukihito asked. "Apologies, I could not understand the first time."

"Cheese."

Kyoko said, frustrated. When Yukihito heard of her abilities, he took as his personal odyssey to document the fairy language with the same diligence of a priest on a holy mission. She brought him along to be the subject of her gluttony-jealousy hypothesis, but so far, he wasn't being very helpful.

"Oh, not to me, but him. Otherwise, the fairy language doesn't come out," Lord Yukihito explained.

"C-h-e-e-s-e," she repeated slowly."

"What?" Kuon asked, not taking his eyes from the lake. "Do you need my help with another batch?"

 _Snap_.

"Done."

Magical sparkles popped from his fingers. He pointed forward and looked at her.

"Did you see the small duck riding the mother's back? With spooked feathers?" he turned back. "We don't have animals on the fairy kingdom."

"Thank you," Kyoko tried to make a bait herself. "Too bad we don't have enough cheese to offer you Kuon,"

"I do not want any," the fairy had his eyes glued to the water, too dazzled to care. "Give the crumbs to the birds, they could use some sustenance."

"How _selfless_ of you…"

"Lady Kyoko!" Yashiro intervened, annoyed. " _Slower_ , please."

She roared and threw fist-sized pieces of bread into the lake. The ducks revealed the past polite act to be a farse and rudely quacked nasty slurs at her.

Food?

Clearly not.

For the next test, she requested Lady Chiori's help. Surely, arguing with another candidate was not very princess-like, but Kyoko could not think of any better person. She admired Lady's Chiori ability for nonchalant, classy insults.

After explaining the situation and getting the Lady to enthusiastically agree with her plan, they met on a peaceful morning on Lady Chiori's private chambers. Kuon's jar joined the purple fairy on the table, populated by a tower of cakes and teas that Kyoko had prepared herself beforehand.

"Ahem, you see, I wanted to discuss... that I am very displeased with your… your insinuation of me being flat-chested," Kyoko licked her lips. "Those are not proper subjects for a lady to speak of in public."

She stole a quick glance at Kuon, who was politely listening to Lady Chiori's fairy point out her favorite cakes.

"Oh my," Lady Chiori fake gasped. "Are you concerned that I will disgrace my family with my bad manners, or are you hurt by me acknowledging your lack of feminine charms?"

"The manners of speech course." Kyoko was taken aback.

She observed that it finally captured the attention of Kuon. Kyoko cleared her throat.

"Y-Your gossips are disgraceful, and, and your dresses are excessively sparkly and lacy, further showcasing your overall bad taste!" she tried, but it sounded like a compliment.

Lady Chiori tsked and fluttered her hand fan.

"It is called fashion, dear. Something that a cook like you with muddy boots like that could never understand."

"Do not forget the hair," Kuon added, showing interest, "that bird's nest is a disgrace."

Kyoko glanced coldly at the fairy.

"For a cook like me, the agility of my hands is more important than fashion frivolities."

Lady Chiori the Cunning's eyes shined.

"And to a court women like me, the speed of my tongue is what matters," she smiled. "I have a great idea of where an agile hand like yours and fast tongue like mine could be put for good use in this castle."

"Lady Chiori!" Kyoko blushed furiously, losing her composure.

"What? I need help on my summer solstice flute rehearsal," Lady Chiori replied innocently. "You could be a dear and flip the pages for me, like a good servant you insist you are."

"You are right, I like her style," Koun informed his purple fairy friend, who nodded between giggles.

Kyoko jumped from her armchair. Three against one was not what she anticipated for this morning.

"Unfortunately, I'm busy with the feast preparations," she exclaimed matter-of-factly. "You will have to find someone else."

"Oh? Are you going so soon?" Lady Chiori snapped her fan closed. "Very well, come to me if you feel less like a servant and more like a princess. I can help you find something sparkly and lacy for our meet-and-greet with the Princes. I have some dresses that will compliment your golden eyes beautifully, dear."

Lady Chiori winked at her.

"T-thank you," she stuttered. "I shall remember it."

Arguing?

Hard pass.

If anything, Kuon seemed to enjoy making her flustered. Maybe it was all her fault. Her insulting performance had been less than stellar, but she hadn't known that denigrating an innocent person would be so hard. How did Shotaro manage it on a daily basis?

Lady Kanae found her in a foul mood, dismembering sandwiches into limbless cubes. The Lady was seeking a midnight snack for her enchanted blue friend, but she did not leave even after successfully locating the cake pile.

"Can I be of service?" Kyoko finally asked between chops.

"Heard the news?" Lady Kanae inquired, approaching her.

"Probably," she kept on slicing, "gossip never fails to reach this wicked kitchen."

"Lady Momose the Skilled was granted a wish," Lady Kanae informed her. "She was paired with the first son of King Lory himself."

"Took her long enough," Kuon scorned from his table.

"WHAT?" Kyoko stomped her knife down.

It flicked, but stayed in the cutting board, leaking sandwiches' sauce slowly to the sides.

" _When_?" Kyoko asked.

"This afternoon."

"Kouki Takarada?"

Lady Kanae nodded.

"She snatched the best of them all," Kyoko sat and slammed her forehead on the table. "I should change my title to 'Kyoko the Plain-Useless' at this point."

"I'm sorry," Lady Kanae patted her head awkwardly, "did you want him too?"

"Noooooo," Kyoko's voice came muffled.

"So… Why do you care?" Lady Kanae frowned. "I thought that was why you were so vigorous with the knife."

"It is just…"

Kyoko laid her head in her hands and pointed at the fairy's general direction. She didn't have the strength to face Kuon's disdain right now.

"Gluttony, greed, wrath, pride, sloth, envy… you name it. I'm trying for months to speak _him_ into some weakness, but all I collected were failures," she blew locks of hair out of her face. "I'm never going to turn into a princess at this point."

"So you _are_ aware," Kuon jested.

"Hm…" Lady Kanae bit a sandwich, thoughtfully.

"If I was half as good at something as you are at cooking, I wouldn't bother joining this silliness," she munched. "If you are worried about your future, I promise to hire you in my next castle."

"But what about the beautiful dresses? And dancing balls? And owning my own sparkly crown?" Kyoko pouted. "I need to be a princess to own all of those."

She was pretty sure she heard an fake puking sound.

"Oh, that…" Lady Kanae twisted her nose. "I never understood why people care so much for that nonsense."

Lady Kanae finished her current sandwich and started another one. It was so late they could only hear far away crickets, so silent the night was.

"Did you know Princes Maria?" Kyoko finally spoke.

"Kings Lory's deceased sister?" Lady Kanae frowned.

"Precisely. My stepmother used to tell me the story of how she approached our home one day, hair loose in the wind, barefoot, in a pink, embroidery dress carrying a bundle against the sunset sky… It was me. Princess Maria found a baby abandoned in the forest and delivered it to the nearest house she could find," Kyoko 's eyes were dangerously shiny.

"Whenever I got an oil burn or sliced my fingers cutting the salad, or feel from the cooking stool, I would pretend to be a princess like her," she smiled, voice unsteady. "To be walking side by side in that sunset… and that we, together, were on our way to rescue a gingerbread man from the priest's plate, or something alike… "

Kanae patted her head again, showing tenderness this time.

"But now, I got sauce in my hair and my fairy-grandfather hates me," Kyoko sniffed. "I should do as you said, give up this stupid dream. I could be cook anywhere else. Even in another kingdom."

 _Snap_.

Kyoko felt a familiar warm sensation on her head, and her bangs were suddenly out of the way. She sighed and touched up, half expecting to find another set of donkey ears. She only felt her own hair and a cold, metal pin.

"Do not think too highly of yourself, twat," Kuon's voice was leveled. "I dislike everyone in general. If you took your hair out of your face more times, you would have seen it."

"Why are you so obsessed with my hair these days?" Kyoko finally addressed him, annoyed.

"It is very long and dark and _peasant_ ," Kuon waved. "Now shut up, I'm tired."

"Nice look," Lady Kanae complimented, and got up. "Come to Chiori's quarters tomorrow morning. I can't give you a crown, but we can lend you a nice dress and make sure you look like a real princess in the meet-and-greet."

"Thank you," Kyoko rubbed her eyes. "It would be most wonderful."

After pondering for hours, Kyoko discovered something else that was bothering her later that night. Unlike all his other transformations and summonings, Kuon's hairpin didn't disappear after some hours. She took it out and examined. It was an intricate golden fork-like structure, with a translucent, blue stone on top.

Kyoko the Plain sat on her straw bed, thoughtfully with the gem resting on her lips.

What did that mean now?

§

∠ **( ᐛ** **」∠** **)** **＿**

 **Dear readers, a reminder: Maria's and Kouki's ages are not the same as in the manga; I just borrowed the names. There is no implication of age-gap couples.**

 **This chapter was brought to you by Teal, who refuses to let a new chapter to be published without reaching a humor quota.**

 **I've been slacking on replying to all of you. Welcome, MetroNeko, cleocat333, Erza, MWEH, H-Nala, Callio and ktoll9. I hope you laugh form the story as much as I do from your witty comments. Y'all the best.**


	5. Chapter 5

Lady Erika, the Gifted clinked a spoon against her glass.

"My Ladies and Milords, and our enchanted people: I welcome you all to this Meet and Greet sequel."

Kyoko was itching to join Lady Chiori's and Kanae's groans but thought better of it. She was afraid any movement would erase her makeup.

She was. wearing. makeup.

 _Kyoko the Plain!_

"How should a fairy decide who to pair her beloved with? They do not discover answers magically, that's nothing but a myth," Lady Erika smiled. "To help future Princesses - the true strength of our kingdom - we invited Princes from the nearby lands, so flirt with wisdom..."

Kyoko double checked the hairpin placement and lost her mind into a sea of pink haze. She would have never _dared_ to image that accepting the offer of _shiny_ and _lacy_ clothes would result in her looking like a real princess! According to Lady Chiori, the elaborate blue silk dress, embroidered with golden flower buds made her eyes ' _shine like the midday sun in a cloudless sky, dear_.' Even her inner demons were emanating pathetic, mellow pink auras.

Lady Chiori lovingly elbowed her on the ribs, so she stopped swaying and paid a pea-sized span of attention to Lady Erika's instructions.

"... choose carefully which prince you want to spend the day with, don't decide in a glance. In the afternoon you are welcomed to wander away - go to our lakes and gardens and theaters and bring your fay. Just remember to come back for our feast and dance. Now begone, go cherish this chance!"

Kyoko jumped upright and unleashed the smile she was precariously holding back; She didn't need to be told twice. Maybe, even if she never managed to tame the stubborn fairy-grandfather, she could enjoy _one_ _perfect day_ as a Princess. She would dance, and laugh, and say a good word about their clothing and...

"Let me get this straight," Kuon jeered.

The jar slipped and almost hit the ground. She had completely forgotten _he_ was there too.

"I have to be still and listen to you flirt with these imbeciles all day?"

"That is the essence," she confirmed and sensing an argument was coming, tried to incite his curiosity. "Tell me, wouldn't be useful to know the Princes, in the hypothetical occurrence of you changing your mind and granting me a wish?"

"No," he glared.

Her smile didn't slip, but a vein pulsed on her forehead. This dipshit would not ruin her perfect day. "Well, miracles happen and you might be in a hard place to chose. Let me introduce them, I have met them all, they are distinct fellows."

"I have seen most distinct looking geese." He snapped his fingers and conjured the birds. "They also make for more interesting company."

Kyoko stepped out of the circle of flapping wings, not paying attention to the scared guests around her. Her mind was racing for a new alternative.

"Oh I know, we can play a game!" she exclaimed. "I-I will give you the pieces of gossip I know about each them, and, and if you correctly guess one secret about all princes… you win a prize!"

She bit her lip. She knew he liked cheese, but it was too weak of a bribe.

"Hmm, it could be not a waste of my morning," he rested a tiny hand on his little chin, and looked around, thoughtfully. "If I win, we don't join the next silliness."

"If that is what you want, I could leave you alone right now," she perked up. "What about the lake, hmm? With a nice view of the swans?"

Kuon, the Bewitching smiled wickedly.

"What will you have to lose if we agree on that?" he remarked. "No, if I win, you have to withdraw too."

"The princess contest altogether?" her heart stopped. "Is this your new runway plan?"

He looked at his tiny nails and picked it.

"Don't be dramatic, just withdraw for today."

 _Today_? Kyoko let her eyes wander around the clearing. The sun peeked through the clouds like molten gold mixed with whip cream; castle furniture was overflowing with cascading floral arrangements and delicate jam biscuits she had shaped herself the night before; the air was sparkling with Shotaro's skilled lute and an overarching rainbow shined across the garden clearance - for sure commissioned by Queen Jelly. It was a scene straight from a fairy tale.

"You have a deal."

Kyoko straightened her spine. She refused to let the magical tantrum of a winged child spoil her one in a lifetime chance.

"Yes!"

Kuon unexpectedly laughed, flew forward and pressed his chubby cheeks against the glass. He was so excited that Kyoko felt stupid for never trying 'games' as a strategy before.

"Let's start with that guy."

"Oh, you are mistaken. Ogata the Delicate, is a princess," Kyoko clarified as she walked over and politely nodded at him. "He writes the most heartbreaking plays in the kingdom. He snatched one of King's Lory sons years ago."

The Princess candidly nodded back, and Kyoko kept in mind to try his glamorous posture later.

"Boring," Kuon rolled his eyes. "What about that one?"

"Prince Kijima the Seducer," Kyoko gave him some thought. "He came from a noble house from the South, where the customs on drinking and lose morale are court weapons…"

"And the rumor is that he and Princess Momose were having an affair," Kuon hid his hands behind his back, but she still could see some sparkles. "Next."

"You didn't use magic to discover that, did you? That is cheating!" She was appalled by his methods. "Let me greet him too."

"Onwards peasant!" Kuon commanded as one would do to a horse. "We should go through that crowd now, find the other Princes. My game, my rules."

Kyoko strolled through the nobles with fake ease, making sure to bow to all castle inhabitants she knew. Most of them looked utterly lost at first, and once they recognized her, they all complimented how enchanting she looked. Kyoko figured that Lady Chiori's fairy must have cast a beauty spell on her too.

"Kyoko! You look lovely today!" the prince exclaimed.

"Story," Kuon demanded.

"Kind of you to say so," she bowed and whispered, "Prince Hikaru, one of three Northern Brothers, it is said he has the best heart."

"And that be felt in love with a peasant," Kuon squinted.

She double checked but there was no snap or sparkles.

"Oh, yes. I have heard something of the sort. What gave it away…?"

"That one, with the sword," Kuon cut her short, "he is next."

"Prince Murasame the Brave!" Kyoko nodded. "He led King's Lory army against the Fukushima invasion, he is considered…"

"Oh my, I always knew that commoners used lesser language, but chirping is a whole new level." Lady Kimiko the Honey-voiced interrupted them and surprised Kyoko by yanking her hairpin. "Where did you steal this from? I could swear I had a pin like this."

"Give it back," Kyoko said between clenched teeth. "It was a gift."

"Oh, commoner. Don't you know it is rude to lie? It should be punishable let by death."

Ladies Mimori and Ruriko shrieked with laughter. The amicable nearby chatting faded, and the lute ballad was the only thing to be heard.

"If it was like you say," Kyoko lifted her chin, "I would have been leaving flowers on your grave for a long time now."

Audible gasps went through the crowd, but the sound of Lady Chiori's melodic laughter calmed Kyoko's fluttering heart.

"If you insist in your innocence, then it must be true. I do not think commoners have in them to outsmart us, better people," Lady Kimiko shook her skinny elbows. "Come, take this poorly made imitation away."

Kyoko stepped forward ready to argue, but Lady Kimiko's hand slipped, pouring red wine all over her clothes.

The dress. Lady Chiori's blue-like-the-sky dress. Her princess day.

Words failed her.

Kyoko felt the jar get hot in her hands, and she opened her mouth to say something, unleash her demons, make that harpy of a woman suffer through so many truths that she would find death from her ears… but she was swept off her feet.

"Allow me to offer my help, my lady," he said. "Where can one find a new set of women's clothes?"

"These are the only clothes I got," she replied with all the dignity she mustered. "Why are you carrying me?"

"So that you don't muddy your pretty dress anymore," he gave her a warm smile over the silly question.

Kyoko felt her cheeks grow red.

"Very kind, but I can do this on my own. Where are you taking me?"

"Who is that?" Kuon's darkened voice echoed in the jar.

"Prince Koga, the Second," Kyoko whispered to him. "He is from the Western Kingdom, King's Lory second biggest ally… and that's all I know."

"Pardon me?"

Prince Koga stopped to look deep into her eyes, and she shifted her weight, disconcerted.

"Oh, excuse me, my fairy asked who you were."

"So the rumors are true, you do speak with them!" he exclaimed and winked. "For sure, you said I was the most enchanting man in the Hiromune lands?

"Is that what you are known for? I will inform him."

"Please, do it," he laughed. "Perhaps we could chat, it and me, while you bath. For your previous question, we are headed to the lake: you could clean yourself there and we can keep watch so that no undesired eyes..."

 _SNAP_.

A sudden, familiar noise and a cloud of iridescent smoke made all guests turn heads. A man stepped out from the puff, and Kyoko squinted.

He was tall, with fair skin, dark hair and a pair of alluring dark eyes that complimented his lustrous cape. He stopped Koga with a hand and helped her get back to her feet with the other.

"Thank you for the assistance," the man said with a buttery smooth, deep voice. "I'll take her of her from now on."

Kyoko squinted harder.

She knew those hands, that face, and more importantly, she knew those smiling eyes were hiding murderous intent. She peeked in the jar for confirmation. There was a grass doll inside, with green leaves for wings

That was this the best doppelganger he could do?

"Can I help you, prince...?" Lady Mimori the Bountiful asked short of breath.

"He is Prince R-Ren!" Kyoko interjected. "Prince Ren the Liar!"

He looked at her with amusement. She had no idea of what his plan was, but she was pretty sure 'ruining her day' was top of his pesky list.

"I'm prince Ren _the Charming_. Don't mind Lady Kyoko's ways, it is an old joke of ours."

Prince Kuon-Ren twisted his cape, took a knee, and placed a kiss on Lady Mimori's extended hand.

"Lady Mimori, I'm delighted to finally meet you." He added a note of lust to his deep voice. "I have heard grand things about your beauty."

While the whole pavilion swooned and lost themselves into the charming and beautiful newcomer, Kyoko had to quickly turn to hide her face. She had two unstoppable urge of conflicting feelings. The will to puke and to laugh hysterically.

§

 **ヽ** **ゝ**

 **I mean, It was the obvious next step. I just hope I caught some of you by surprise.**

 **Note: Kyoko calls Ogata a princess in the manga, I never thought I would have a chance of using this fact anywhere! Take that, canon.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Your handkerchief, my lady," Prince Ren the Charming kneeled beside Lady Rumiko the Ivory Beauty, detaching himself from a fawning crowd of excited females.

"Oh," she exclaimed a tad too loud. "How kind, but you didn't have to worry about me."

"I am in your land just to be of service," Prince Ren brushed his lips on Lady Ruriko's hand. "And I am honored to help such a _fair_ lady."

Kyoko the Plain squinted and bit her jelly biscuit from a safe distance.

"Prince Ren," a voice claimed from the crowd. "It is awfully chilly today, wouldn't you agree?"

"Are you unwell, Lady?" he got up. "Please, let my warmth be yours."

Kyoko munched skeptically, eyes thin and dangerous as arrow slits in a castle wall, as Kuon wrapped his cape around Lady Mimori's shoulders.

"But... what about yourself?" Lady Mimori the Bountiful pressed herself on him.

"Your well-being is far more important than _mine_ , princess," he smiled brightly.

Kyoko had to turned away. His reaction brought goosebumps on her skin, and the sweet voice sent foreboding chills down her spine. That prick, that fake, fake, manipulative, insufferable little fae...

"Hold on, dear," Lady Chiori complained, "I am almost done."

"Can you believe _him_?" Kyoko was exasperated. "How can someone fall for this? That devil is obviously faking to be a gentleman, but they are all... swooning," she shuddered.

"Well, here I thought I would find you crying over a ruined dress, but you did not even look at it twice," Lady Chiori started, styling a shawl on top of the wine stain. "I'm glad you are still having fun."

"You should listen to the real him, the winged curse," Kyoko fumed, oblivious to the remark "The venom in his words could poison a water wheel for a week! Oh, and his pitifulness... Do not get me started on his manners..."

Lady Chiori the Cunning stopped and regarded the man in question. If festivities were to progress normally, the clearing would be filled with couples, Princesses and Princes getting to know each other in a social waltz. As of now, most Princess' Candidates had gathered around the newcomer like bees starved of flowers, and the Princes, tired of fighting for droplets of leftover honey, had settled to court the punch table. An easier target.

"It is rather odd, don't you think?"

"What is? Believe me when I say, he can be a muddy sack of rotten…"

Lady Chiori cut short her torrent of profanities.

"Why did your fairy- _grandfather_ go through all the effort of magically turning human, just in time, to steal you from the arms of a pristine, perfectly good Prince, and then decided to waste his morning courting countless other Princesses?"

Kyoko did not miss a beat in considering it.

"He wants everyone to look at him. I would bet a month's worth of cartons of milk that he grew tired of having just me as an audience for his narcissistic petty shows."

"Honestly, baffles me sometimes how you can have the fastest tongue in this kingdom but still…" Lady Chiori started, and abruptly turned away, murmuring behind her fan. "Do not look behind you, but he is back."

"What? Kuon is…"

Despite Lady Chiori's warning, Kyoko peaked above her shoulders. At first, she thought that a spring dryad had grown legs, but after a moment of attentive scrutiny, she discovered it to be Prince Koga the Second, hidden behind a plump, carmesim bouquet that was almost as big as himself. Kyoko frowned.

"I am so sorry," she tried to get it from him. "Did someone make you assist with the decorations?"

"I could not find clothing suitable of your beauty, so I thought this decoy could divert attention from your previous mishap," he motioned at her dress. "But I see now, the Lady beat me into rescuing you."

Lady Chiori gracefully bid them farewell, and Kyoko was left alone to solve his puzzling persona.

"Not a practical gift, but I appreciate the sentiment," she bowed in gratitude, and stole glances at Kuon's newest commotion.

"I doubt practical gifts would win a Lady's heart, but if you are more fond of capes and chivaree, I could lend you mine while we jaunt by the castle fields," he smiled sarcastically, following her eyes. "I hear your geography is quite exquisite."

Kyoko could not help but scowl behind the monstrous bouquet.

"A flower sure can make a table more appealing to the eyes, yes, or be branded as a symbol of politeness - like you just did. But a cape, a good, sturdy, well-made cape with proper pockets and dependable cording can save one's life in a cold night! It can also shield you from the rain on any occasion, and even carry your precious goods on the road, keeping your purse lighter so hopefully you can attract fewer deviants," she concluded with airs of knowledge. "And I am no lady. I am Kyoko the Plain, cook of the Takarada Castle."

"Fascinating."

Prince Koga stepped forward, and to her displeasement, trapped her hands in his.

"Kyoko, you are not like the other girls."

"Quite a rude thing to say," she frowned. "I know I am a peasant but…"

"You are the first person whom I am able to entertain an interesting conversation this morning," he confessed earnestly. "The other Princess, Kimiko, Kanae, Momose are… ephemeral little things, moths trapped by the light. But not you. I would very much like if you could spend this afternoon and the coming summer solstice with me."

"I…"

Kyoko, equally confused and offended, was saved from giving Prince Koga an answer because a pair of hugging hands took her off her feet, giant bouquet and all.

"She is with me," Prince Ren stated in an ice-cold voice.

"Is she?" Prince Koga drew a joyful smile. "Here I thought your harem to be big enough already."

Kyoko's inner demons felt a surge of supernatural energy from Kuon, a power so oppressive that nearby guests forgot that they were expected to fake indifference and glared openly. Kuon's eyes didn't turn red, but once again, he emanated a purple, suffocating aura.

"You should step away. Now."

"Pardon, who are you to give me orders?" Prince Koga stepped forward with closed fists. "Where are your lands located again, _Prince_?"

Kyoko decided that was quite enough.

"You" she pointed at Koga, "stop, and you," she glared at Kuon, "put me down. Prince Koga, I am very sorry, but I need to have a word with Prince Ku… Ren. I need to talk with Prince Ren, _alone_."

"Are you sure?" Prince Koga started. "This man..."

"Yes," Kyoko reassured him back at her own two feet." I am absolutely certain."

Prince Koga hesitated, looking longly from one face to the other, but finally conceded with an unceremonious bow, "Until we meet again."

Kyoko wasted no time. After the attention brought by that show and _Prince Ren's_ swooning fanbase, she decided it was best to be out of public scrutiny. She dragged Kuon and his awful mood through the Garden Maze, a structure taller than her companion, decorated with delicate and fragrant flowers meant to confound the minds and senses of those who ventured inside it. She never figured what purpose the fireflies served, but it didn't hurt to look at them. Kyoko stopped pulling Kuon's hand when they reached a dead end, far deep into the green maze.

"What were you doing?" she finally exploded

"I don't trust him," Kuon spoke to the grass, begrudgingly.

"I am not talking about Prince Koga," Kyoko spat, "I am talking about those girls! Is this your new plan to spoil my chances? Are you trying to know them so that you can demand your fairy subjects to pair all available princess with all living princes in this contest? To spoil my chances?" She poked his chest. "And _do not_ go hating on Prince Koga just because he is better looking than you."

"No one is better looking than me," Kuon dismissed her argument and her hand. "There is a weird air about him and his men. I do not trust them. And stop talking about me running away! You got me in a jar far and square, I won't try to flee or break the rules anymore, ok?"

Kyoko just stared at his pouting grouchiness.

"If I did not know you, I would think you are jealous of _me_... Hey, stop that! It was my gift!"

Kuon took the bouquet from her hands, and in a infantile moment of love-me-not, started pulling it apart, flower by flower.

"How tasteless. One can't commit to a choice, so he goes out and tries all answers in the book. _All_. _at. once_."

Kyoko tried to snatch the bouquet from his hands, but Kuon simply turned his back at her, shielding his work with his broad, tall body. After much futile resistance from her part and indifferent disregard from his - where Kyoko sourly contemplated how easier it had been for her to manage him in the jar - Kuon turned back and kneeled in a carpet of crimson petals.

"A crown to the future queen."

He offered a delicate ornament, made with red roses and white baby's breaths wrapped around green leaves.

She was unimpressed.

"It would have been more dramatic if I hadn't seen you place a flower ring on Princess Kimiko's fingers."

He tucked the thing on her head.

"Shut up, peasant."

"Now, here is the Kuon I know." she smiled.

"What?" he exploded. "Can't you be a sane subject and _enjoy_ when I'm actually being polite to you?"

"No," she shuddered. "Your slimy, fake face gives me the chills. It is downright creepy."

Kuon surprised her by laughing, a magical and melodic sound that made her chest lighter.

"You are the first one to notice when I am being insincere," he rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Idiot," she brushed it off. "How come you didn't transfigure anyone into a duck yet? I thought you had less patience then I do."

He poked her nose.

"Just because I don't bother wasting energy being nice to you, does not mean I am socially inept," he shrugged. "Besides, I can't seem to think straight. Human minds are... weird. Transforming into one of you sure brings things into a new perspective."

Kyoko was shocked.

How was she supposed to answer that? If he was fake, she would debunk it; if he swore, she would retort in kind, but now... Damn everything. She couldn't seem to think properly when his brown eyes sucked her soul in that honest, hypnotic way. The worst thing was, she knew he wasn't using magic. Besides aging and darkening some colors, Prince Ren still had the same face, same body structure, and same haircut as the fairy-grandfather Kuon had. Everything the was still same, minus the wings.

Kyoko decided she did not like it.

Not _at all._

"You aren't going back to fairy form any time soon, are you?"

He shook his head.

"The magic lasts until sunset."

Kyoko sighed. She really wanted to stuff him back into a jar.

"Fine. Since you already ruined my chances with any suitors, could we at least pretend that we are a normal, contestant couple? I could pretend that you are a real Prince and you could pretend I am a real Princess, so that I can finally, _finally_ enjoy my _one_ royalty day?"

"I _am_ a real Prince," Kuon the Bewitching stressed.

Kyoko the Plain stared.

He brushed a leaf off her shawl and shrugged.

"I am fine with it if you are."

"Deal," she nodded. "And you keep your hands above my waistline. Preferably, keep your hands off me."

§

 **(⌐■_■)**

 **I'm back, babies.**

 **I'm actually sorry for the disappearance**

 **If you want an explanation, go check out Pink Shorty Shorts 8 - Something Dangerous notes.**

 **Everyone, say 'thank you Teal' for stitching this madness into a pretty chapter. She rocks.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

After a brief evaluation of which activities were most suited for a Princess Day, 'Lunch in the Flower Bed' was democratically demanded by Kyoko the Plain. A cascading torrent of sandwiches, cakes, and assorted fruits overflowed the discrete tables-for-two, islands of privacy on the lush-green garden paths. Prince Ren skipped all solids in favor of tea and did a fine job of controlling his displeasure while Kyoko tasted the fruits of her own work.

"I am glad that the morning's misfortunes did not ruin your appetite, my lady" Prince Ren pointed.

For any passing observers, not used to the mockery in his eyes and the venom on his words, the comment could be interpreted as one of concern, a polite act of care for his lady companion. However, most observers were not Kyoko.

"I wish I could say the same of your highness," she filled her plate as frugally as etiquette dictated. "I keep worrying that you might suddenly _puff_ out of existence, giving how little of you is left."

"My lady, If I do disappear it will be with far more style then _that_ , and not because of lack of food."

"What do you like to eat in your… _kingdom_?" She inquired politely, adjusting her flower crown. "Perhaps the prince is merely suffering from a homesick palate."

"I would rather not name things and play favorites," he shrugged.

Kyoko halted her lemon cake midair to glare at him, pinky lifted.

"Rainwater," he offered.

"I refuse to believe that you hate all outcomes of what I create in my daily profession, Prince Ren."

The sound of his disdainful snicker produced a reluctant smile on her face. It transported her back to her kitchen where they were just Kyoko the Plain and Kuon the Bewitching, bickering over the table.

"Come on, nothing?" she nagged, leaving formalities behind.

Prince Ren the Charming lifted a grilled sandwich to her mouth.

"I find your cheese, acceptable."

"That's a start," she took it in her own fingers before biting. "What makes everything else bad, that is, in your royal opinion?"

He shook his head and filled her plate with a ridiculous amount of berries.

"It is heavy on my stomach, I do not like the feeling."

She sighed, "I think your parents did a lousy job and spoiled you as a child. If they had introduced other foods in your diet since you were little… here, try this one."

Kyoko elevated a combination of strawberry and cheese dipped in honey off her plate.

"I rather not," he made a face.

She pulled her chair closer, effectively securing a better spot to dangle her fork in front of his mouth.

"You did not even give it a chance! I guarantee that the combination of light and sweet is well worth it!"

He gracefully used his hand as a shield against her offenses.

"Maybe it is worth for _your_ peasant tastes. Do I really need to remind you of my exact, _royal_ thoughts about sweets?"

"Good heavens Prince Ren, I finally found you!"

Lady Mimori the Bountiful sprinted to their table, with a not so enthusiastic Prince gliding behind. She did a show of ignoring Kyoko all together, and handed forward a cloth bundle.

"Thank you for the cape, you were most kind."

"It was my honor, my lady."

Prince Ren's eyes were still firmly glued on Kyoko's offending fork.

"I took the liberty of brushing the fur for you," Lady Mimori added breathlessly.

"You were most kind," he repeated, eyes still focused on the dangerous fruit at hand.

"I also added my house brooch, since you didn't have one. I don't know how are the customs go on your land, but around here this is perfect for displaying of royalty," Lady Mimori the Bountiful persisted, leaning on his arm reassuringly and eyeing Kyoko for the first time. "See, It is important to make your status clear, so no unadvised soul take you by a crude, mannered peasant who doesn't know the way of the land. Not that it is your case, mind you. Just a thoughtful warning," she sniffed.

Kyoko gracefully cursed under the weight of the Lady's accusatory gaze and retrieved her precarious feeding attempt. Or tried to, since Prince Ren abruptly decided to pull her hand, fork and eyes to himself before deliberately swallowing the appetizer down.

"Noted," he declared. "Lady Mimori, I'm afraid I am busy now, if you don't mind."

The flustered lady excused herself as quickly as crimson flushed Kyoko's face, unequivocally irradiating her embarrassment to all nearby roses and carnations to see.

"Show off," she mumbled quietly.

"What?" He lifted an eyebrow.

"That.. that was very rude. How could you?" She stumbled all over her own words. " _Your Highness_ should be considerate of your position and mind your manners. Show some chivalry!"

"Enlighten me, what should a man of my position have done to get rid of an annoying, clueless git who insulted his delightfully enchanting companion?

"Save the pretty words for your flock," she rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure how this goes on your land, but here there is always a strict protocol to follow. For instance, when in an ongoing conversation with nobles, never turn your back while they are still speaking - like you just did. It's common sense! And take your elbows out off the table while are eating."

"Was that also not _chivalrous_?" Ren shifted to a proper position as he gulped down the contents of his cup, guiding it down with both hands. "Peculiar customs, I see."

"No, no, no, no. Sip it! Honestly, it pains me to watch!" Kyoko took her own china in her hands. " _When the bell chimes five one must remember the rhyme: Proper tea etiquette is needed to have a good time. With index and thumb the handle you pinch; middle finger in the bottom for just an inch. Be attentive of the rules with and you will be fine, but a twisted spine is short of a crime. See_?"

Prince Ren knitted his brows and fumbled with the teacup.

"Oh, where does the ring finger rest in all this? Could you repeat it, slower?"

"Is not that hard," Kyoko lost patience and repositioned his fingers with her own. "Just like so."

"What if I lose balance?" He frowned at the arrangement. "Does not look very secure to me."

"Nonsense," she got up, stood behind him and shielded his hand with hers. "Try it now, but remember: _sips_ not _gulps_."

"What did gulps ever do to you?" His milk chocolate brown eyes looked up at her, intently. "Is the movement of my throat considered rude too?"

"Kyoko!" a voice came from behind them once more. "Oh my, I don't see you since… since forever actually!"

"Lady Momose! What a pleasure." Kyoko turned quickly on her feet, but her movement was impeded by Prince Ren's firm hands on her body.

"A fall in this muddy ground would be hard for your dress to recover, my lady," he scolded.

"That was unnecessary your highness." Kyoko squinted at the hand on her lower back.

"Oh, I see you got company now, what a lovely opportunity!" Lady Momose gave a light squeeze to the interlocked arm of her companion. "I believe you didn't meet my Prince either, let me introduce all of you."

This new interruption was far more polite than the last one. After courteous introductions and light pleasantries were exchanged, the newly matched couple walked away, far too entertained with themselves to notice the _plainness_ of a forming storm.

"Hands off," Kyoko demanded when they were far enough.

"Why? Isn't a Prince allowed to help his lady if she is in imminent danger?" Prince Ren frowned.

"I am quite secure now, thank you."

Deploying a bread kneading move, Kyoko straightened her skirts and collapsed on her chair with the grace of a potato sack. She slurped a sip of her tea and the following silence was very loud.

"What now, my Lady?" Prince Ren finally asked.

"You do would not know how to yawn without insulting three different diplomats; thanks to Lady Mimori my favorite jasmine tea is cold; Lady Momose was nice but she ate the last emmental sandwich... frankly, the 'Private tea party on the enchanting Flower Bed' has not been particularly private nor magical. Did I paint the picture well enough?"

"Would my ' _flock of fans'_ be included in the 'lack of privacy' complain?" Ren pondered, and at Kyoko's confusion, pointed to the slowly approaching hoard.

"No, that is a whole new section." She buried her head in her hands.

"Come on now," Ren whispered, "I'm sure your chin is supposed to be parallel to the ground, my lady."

Her demons flared up as she jolted with realization.

"You! You…Argh!"

Kyoko's fast steps sent petals storming out of her path. Mildly perplexed guests watched as she marched to the Castle stiffly, not bothering to look back at her designed Prince _once_. How rude, they sourly said. Stealing a perfectly good prince like that all to herself, some grumbled. Surely, he wouldn't follow that tantrum? A voice asked. What if his emotions were crushed? What if he is hurt? Poor Prince Ren!

In the end, the group agreed, the only sensible alternative was to follow.

§

"You knew," Kyoko spun in place well into the kitchen walls so abruptly that the red flower crown flew off her head.

"Knew what?" Prince Ren almost collided with her.

"The rules."

She pushed a red, flower tile and stepped inside a hidden cupboard.

"Did I?"

He picked his gift from the floor, and followed her closing the stone door.

" _Parallel chins_?" She whispered, trying to not attract the attention of the fast following female horde.

"You have to admit, it was funny."

He crowned her again and leaned closer, looking outside through the slits.

"Stop," she hissed at his chest, inner demons completely out of control.

"Stop what?," he asked lightly, gazing at the pursuers.

With a huff, Kyoko the Plain pushed him to the opposite wall. Prince Ren was too startled to react, as she slammed her hands to the side of his head, leaving no space between their bodies.

"A tactic as old as time itself. First, a casual hand dropped here, a light lingering of fingers touching there, and, off course, you help me steady my clumsy feet at some point, so that I sure enough, somewhere down the line, will find myself pressed against a wall and you will gently steal a kiss from my _naive, enamored,_ _swooning lips_." Kyoko snapped a knee up in between his legs and pressed impossibly closer. "I've seen Shotaro deploying the drill countless times. Do not take me as another naive noble, ignorant of your flirting playbook just because I'm plain, Kuon."

His wide eyes stared for a long moment.

"Maybe naive was a mistake, but by no means do I take you as plain."

"Right," she chuckled dryly, "and I am Kyoko _the Dazzling_ , Queen of the Fairies in a magical land. I own a rainbow pony, and ride to the sunset daily with my glittering, fae parade."

His mouth opened, ready, but it was dropped along with his eyes.

"Whatever you say, _peasant_ ," he muttered. "It is not like I care."

She waited, but no other arguments were rendered under their deafening heartbeats.

Prince Ren freed himself, and went back alone to the light slits.

"I think we are safe."

"Oh, they are clever ladies," she shrugged and leaned on the cupboard' shelves, "they will find another way."

Prince Ren paced in the minuscule space, nodding, "probably."

"In truth, it does not matter," she flicked a gravy boat's handle. "They will _probably_ be anywhere "

"Unless…"

"No Kuon, that is quite enough." She sighed and got up. "Let's go back to the main pavilion. You can entertain the guests with some sparkly hocus pocus and I can enjoy the view. They got lemonade at least."

"Peasant," Prince Ren reached for her elbows, but thought better of it. "I got an idea."

"Do you?"

"Trust me," he pouted, "it will work."

"I am _not_ doing it," she rolled her eyes.

"I did not question your previous choices, and even _ate_ foul things in the name of chivalry." He stomped his feet. "Try to keep up, you owe me."

"That is not how chivalry works, you ungrateful butter…" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Fine, just this once."

"You are not doing any more than your obligation, peasant," he gloated as he unlocked the door.

"Whatever you say, your highness."

Kyoko the Plain had an unladylike drag on her feet, as she marched through what seemed to be the longest day of her life. She was too exhausted to look forward to anything else, let alone have hopes. Maybe, she thought as she adjusted her crown, maybe she was unfit for glorious days with pretty dresses and royal balls, or maybe being a princess was simply that hard and not magical at all…

Ha, as if.

§

 **(◔_◔)**

 ***mumbles incongruently below a pile of plot notes***


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

In hindsight, it was no surprise that, when given the choice, Kuon the Bewitching would always want to visit the lake. For once, Kyoko did not find strength in herself to make fun of his child-like fixation for the winged feathered creatures; she just let herself be carried away until she was suddenly landing on a boat. A _swan_ boat.

"No bread today?" Prince Ren the Charming nodded to the water as he rowed, making a show of his _big_ effort.

It was just a standard saturday demonstration by Queen Jelly the Witch. Doves flew in pairs creating heart shapes through the sky with their interlocking rainbow trails. Multicolored fish could be seen meters down on the teal, glittering, crystal clear water, and they periodically jumped up in a swirling choreography.

"No bread, those are clearly magical."

" _I_ am clearly magical and you still force feed me," Prince Ren shook his head. "Was your early said 'etiquette' all just for show, peasant?"

"Maybe those ladies there got some bread stored for you." She sourly shifted in her seat, avoiding to look at the colorful mass of dresses on the shore.

"Maybe they would go away if you looked less like a sulking peasant and more like a Princess Candidate who claimed a Prince."

Kyoko the Plain snorted at the audacity of this fairy.

"Oh, do not dare to push this on me. Whose brilliant idea was it to turn into a human?"

"The damsel was in distress," he rowed with stoic energy. "What kind of gentleman would I be to ignore my lady's struggles?"

"Danger?" Kyoko squinted to avoid looking at the display of his upper muscles. "Memory seems to be failing you, your highness! Lady Kimiko could only be a threat to me even in her most delusional dreams. And if you are trying to address the dress fiasco, Prince Koga had everything under control well before you..."

Oars came flying to her side.

"In short, it means you are your own Prince and need no help?" he crossed his arms. "Row ahead, My Lord."

Kyoko rolled up her sleeves.

"It will be my pleasure."

There were few things that got Prince Kuon the Bewitching by surprise, and without a doubt, all recent occurrences could be pinpointed back to one stubborn cook. He fell headfirst into the glittering water, making acquaintances with the multicolored fish when the boat increased in speed and yanked him out, ending his aquatic sojourn

"Come knead bread with me next time!"

Kyoko's wild smile sparkled a twin one on his face.

"Ah, so that's the kind of prince you are? One without honor, I see" Prince Ren mused, wiping the damp hair out of his face. "I demand you join me here so we can get this matter straight, like two reasonable gentlemen."

"You wish jellyfish," she chuckled.

" _Jellyfish_?"

 _SNAP!_

Kyoko felt a surge of energy in the air right before the colorful fishes swim away as fast as watercolor dripping down a canvas. A massive water column rose, and on top of it, the Prince's glowing green eyes scowled menacingly.

"Eat sand, peasant prince."

She reflexively looked at the shore, worried to what the other ladies might see, but was thrown off balance and fell hard in the wood. She felt when his wave rose the boat in an impossibly high height, and after a scary, still second, it spun out of control, round and round until it suddenly banked, stranded on a small patch of sand that few unwise souls would have dared to call an ' _island'_. Unable to control her wobbly legs, Kyoko stumbled on Prince Ren's emerging body while attempting to get out of the boat, consequently dropping them both down in the sand.

Glares were exchanged in defiance, but when mouths were opened, just giggles slipped out. Her sides hurt. They needed several minutes to catch their breaths from the irrational and uncontrollable laughter.

"It is so warm and peaceful here," Kyoko closed her eyes and took a deep breath, focusing on the soothing sounds of water.

"It reminds me of home. The birds here sound similar to my riverbank Dryads' songs," Prince Ren leaned his head on his forearm. "Your view of the sun is better, but the water spirits recently learned a dancing number that would put all these fishes to shame."

"I cannot fathom how majestic it would be to just _live_ in your world," she sighed. "I would never grow tired of exploring all the minutiae on the … Oh by all gods Kuon, your eyes!"

She urgently pulled his face to her.

"What?" Prince Ren frowned. "And how came you can touch me but I can not touch you, Lady Kyoko the _I Have Seen It All Before_?"

"Shut up, chipless cookie," she marveled, "they are green again!"

Kyoko pulled his chin up and inspected carefully. With no charms or illusions, Kuon's eyes were more bewitching than the first day she saw him. It was true that when he turned human, their hypnotic quality never quite went away, but now, looking at it directly was nothing short of setting off a spell - a mind-numbing and magnetic one.

"I am using all my powers to keep this transformation," he snapped his fingers but only a peach-sized, pathetic storm appeared. "I am so drained after all that magic… I could not dry myself even if I tried."

"But we still have a dance to attend," Kyoko sat up. "You _can not_ stroll into the ball dripping like that."

"Why not? You would never tell mermaids to _dry themselves_ before a ball," Prince Ren snorted and pulled at her skirt. "Besides, If you get as wet as I am, we would fit in just fine."

She squinted.

"Come, _merman_. I think I know someone almost as tall as you."

§

"It is unprecedented! A breakthrough! Never, In all my research, my lady, never an occurrence like this was registered. Not even once! Tell me, was the fae dialect also affected by the extents of the transfiguration?"

Lord Yukihito The Erudite stopped pacing to gaze at her, wide-eyed.

"Yes..."

Kyoko regretted sharing the nature of Prince Ren's secret almost immediately. Yukihito, the most composed gentleman she knew, had an unflattering breakdown when learned exactly where her fairy- _grandfather_ had been these last hours. After fumbling with spare clothes and eagerly lending his changing chambers, Lord Yukihito behaved only a hair saner than an excited teenager knight who had just met his fairy tale hero.

"Must be, otherwise he wouldn't be communicating with everyone, right? Apologies for ignoring obvious information. Oh, what kind of researcher am I, neglecting previously gathered data? What about his powers? Does he get to keep it? And, what exactly caused this cataclysmic event? Was this your wish? Which astrological and supernatural conditions would need to be met in order for him to perform this trick again? How long does it last? Would any other common fairy posses this power? What are the everlasting consequences on his body?"

"...aaaaahhn," she replied wisely.

"Peasant, this is so small that I would rather use the damp suit."

Prince Ren the Charming stepped out from behind the curtains and Kyoko was suddenly aware of the inappropriateness of the situation. His outfit was somewhat ill-fitting, short in length and tighter than necessary, but when he leaned against a pillar, the common shoes and brown pants suddenly looked _regal_.

Lord Yukihito fell to his knees with reverent eyes.

" _He, he is just so.. magically-sublime_."

"The shoe seam... it seems comfortable enough. To dance. I mean, you got dapper dancing shoes," Kyoko pointed.

"Yes yes, it is functional," he rolled his eyes. "But this shirt is too tight, see?"

Her eyes accidentally followed his hand and she was forced to observe that he hadn't even tried closing his shirt _at all._ Loose fabric draped down his toned torso like a crumpled napkin that had the misfortune of protecting a warm, buttery perfect croissant.

" _A humble scholar, like me, could never compare to your fae body excellence_ ," Lord Yukihito had unexpected tears in his otherwise dignified face. " _Apologies, your highness, for I have failed you_."

"I don't know," Kyoko closed a reluctant button. "I'm sure if we just, left the top open a little…"

Wisps of feathery blonde hair curled out on her index. She tried patting it down but was carried away by how smooth the whole thing was.

"Kuon… I don't think your fans are ready for this..."

Horns blew off at a distance and made Kyoko jump back into reality. She backed down and wiped the corner of her mouth.

"Well, we don't have much choice now, do we? Thank you for your aid, scholar. You were, ahn, an _exemplary assistant_." Prince Ren patted the Lord's elbow and stepped forward. "Come peasant, I believe we have a ball to attend."

Kyoko hurried to follow his giant, effortless steps and walked by a petrified and gaping Lord Yukihito. She set her jaw and shook her head. How did he do that? And why, why for all that was sacred, did she _have_ to capture the bewitching fairy-grandfather?

§

Despite everything, they managed to arrive at the ball before sundown. A mix of orange, pink and purple lights bathed the ceilingless ballroom, where a gathering crowd of couples was split between dancing on the hardwood floor or chatting at the opulent tables.

"Something is off," Kyoko halted.

"What exactly?"

"I don't know…" she took in the scenario. "Do you remember how the opening ceremony had that impossible rainbow... and the overwhelming amount of blossoms in the flower bed... oh, and those nifty fish at the lake..."

"Well-coordinated, at best," Prince Ren intervened.

"Shut up," she slapped his arm without real force. "Well, this ball is everything I wished it would be, and more! But somehow, part of me expected something a bit more... magical, maybe."

"She does not want to steal the moment," a stern voice interjected.

"Lady Kanae, I did not see you the whole day!" Kyoko bowed, delighted. "Oh, and you have a companion!"

Lady Kanae and a child not taller than herself bowed in return, both courteously bored.

"Prince Hiou the Adamant escorted me through the festivities after the _incident_ with my last prince," informed the Cold Beauty.

Prince Hiou gave a disturbing smile that made Lady Kanae's blue fairy laugh maniacally.

"What did the last Prince do?" Prince Ren was curious. "Perhaps he summoned your anger by offering you a hideously tacky bouquet that was so tacky it could only be accepted at a funeral?"

"No," Lady Kanae mused, "Did you give Kyoko one of those, or was it someone else?"

"What were you saying before, my lady?" Kyoko interrupted loudly. "Who does not want to steal the moment?"

"The Queen," Lady Kanae answered. "The princess race technically ends on the summer solstice, but most of the pairings happen in this dance. Excessive magic would steal their shine. Look, it is _her_ turn."

Lady Rumiko the Ivory Beauty was floating gently above ground, unaware of the world as she chatted happily with her partner. Suddenly, a ray of sunshine descended from the sky and multicolored petals cocooned her features from sight. Her now free fairy gave it a goodbye kiss, and it all exploded magnanimously, revealing a safe and crowned new Princess underneath.

"Is your friend okay?" Prince Hio asked.

Kyoko's wide eyes were glued to the crown, a crystal as delicate and pale as Lady Rumiko's skin itself.

"Perfectly fine," Lady Kanae shook her head.

"Three, two, one..." Prince Ren counted.

"SHE IS SO FLAWLESS!" Kyoko shrieked, jumping up and down. "Oooooh it was so perfect, Never have I ever seen something like this from the kitchens! And her crown is soooo beautiful…. Wait, I have a crown too! Surely, I should take it out in respect of the princess, right? How rude! Argh, I must look so silly right now…"

Prince Ren held her hands before she snapped the flowers away.

"Calm down peasant," he scolded. "I, your fairy-grandfather, gave you this crown. It is not against your rules."

"But if Kyoko was given a flower-crown by a fairy," Lady Kanae wondered, "that means…"

"Means she finally found a crown as fake as herself," a melodically voice interjected, "and best yet, it is going to rot and decay like her stupid pretensions."

Dusk grew darker as Kyoko the Plain inner demons exploded through the ballroom.

"Shotaro! Shouldn't you be using that beak of yours to cluck us some shallow songs?"

"Oho, did I touch a nerve?" The minstrel prowled around her. "Easy there _princess_ , or the nobles will spot the fake swan in no time."

"What what now? Sorry, I do not speak chicken language. I would ask you to repeat that, but clearly it would not be worthy of my delicate ears."

The minstrel had an answer ready for that, and for all her next retorts. Their public bickering escalated to a harmonical crescendo of snappy replies and sordid insults, punctuated by his never stopping lute. More than a fight, it all sounded like old lover's duet.

"Don't," Lady Kanae held Prince Ren's arm.

He ignored the tug, eyes glued in the scene, "pardon me, my lady?"

Lady Kanae stepped in front of him, backed by her prince.

"If you are going to stop them by insulting Kyoko into a clever and mean trap, like you have been doing since you arrived here, just don't."

"My lady misunderstood me," Prince Ren chucked dryly "I have been merely…"

"...pulling Kyoko's ponytails like a kid who is love," she crossed her arms. "My child-prince knows how to play this game better than you, _your highness_."

Prince Ren starred at her and laughed in disdain.

"Love? _Love_? That peasant cook abducted me from my land, overfed me to exhaustion, threatened my life daily and you say I am in 'love' with that _plain_ _creature_?"

"The way I see it, she brought adventure to the doorstep of a secluded fairy and tried to make him comfortable at the best of her abilities," Lady Kanae shrugged. "Or so I understood by her rants with Chiori. We did not talk at length."

He growled and turned away, childishly.

"Look, if it is all that bad of a torture, just pair her up with Koga and fly away to the sunset... but make up your mind fast. Your time is almost up," Lady Kanae stepped aside. "Only you can decide how you fairy tale day ends."

A commotion made it hard to hear the Lady's voice. Kyoko and Shotaro's argument had been mistaken for an attraction, and a crowd was following them along.

"Man up, fairy," Prince Hiou the Adamant advised.

Prince Ren brought his hands to his face and muffled a sigh, sputtering a series of melodic clicks that would have earned a slap from his mother. When he looked up, there was a new spark of resolution in his features.

He smoothed his shirt, and opened an extra button, for good luck.

"Minstrel, I will take it from here," Prince Ren smoothly stepped into the argument and snatched Kyoko's frantic hand away.

Kyoko tried to free herself, but her movement was somehow translated into an impromptu swirl.

"I was promised a dance," Prince Ren declared.

"No!" she struggled. "That jerk was almost where I wanted him. I need to go back and tell him to…"

Her thoughts were forcefully halted as the lute grew louder. Simple and cheerful chords enveloped the minstrel's voice, booming words through the whole ballroom.

' _A swan is a swan and a goose is a goose!_

 _At a barnyard or a ball,_

 _With fancy tricks to fool them all,_

 _A swan is a swan and a goose is a goose!_

 _Clapping now everyone!''_

Kyoko was shaking like a leaf.

"I am going to murder him. I am going to dismember his limbs one by one and burn his open ends so that his blood will not leak. I am going stab countless rose torn's to his heart and dance on top of his chest, and I am going to do so on a tower so that everyone can see," she spat. "How dare he play that childish tune at a place like this. _How dare he?!_ "

"Peasant..."

Prince Ren took her hands in his and cleared his throat.

"That man is trying to upset you enough to get your undivided attention. Right now, the cruelest possible thing you could do is simply ignoring him."

"W-What?" Kyoko's eyes bulged out, "But, but I want to humiliate him. Publicly..."

' _A swan is a swan and a goose is a goose!_

 _Despite its coiffured hair,_

 _Regardless of the clothes it wears,_

 _A swan is a swan and a goose is a goose!'_

"Trust me, I do it with you all the time, you are very easy to fool," Prince Ren the Charming pulled her into a swirl that ended into a tight hug. "Do you know the waltz, Kyoko?"

"Oh," she gingerly followed his feet. "That, that's oddly honest, coming from you."

"Really? No come back?" He laughed and bent her torso with his. "Left hand on my shoulder, right hand on my hand. Try to keep up."

' _A swan is a swan and a goose is a goose!'_

"Even I know _that_ ," she mumbled.

Prince Ren conducted her through a series of impeccable steps, and to his surprise, Kyoko did not fight in the slightest. Her determined eyes were looking straight at his, and at him only.

"You know what peasant, your plan had merit," he mused. "If we take out some of that blood, I am sure we could rub it in _just a little."_

 _SNAP!_

Without a warning, Prince Ren threw her up in the sky and jumped right after. Kyoko watched in awe how a lock of his hair lighten up in bright yellow, only to be followed by another and another. In a blink, he was blonde again. She opened her mouth to point it out, but the lack of ground beneath her shoes startled her tongue.

" _Do not_ stop moving your feet," he advised.

They were airborne! Floating above everyone's heads at the rhythm of gooses and swans.

"Oh by all the goods! Kuon, it is so high! Everyone is looking at me! Me, the most graceless biped of them all… I will never be able to show my face in public again."

Kyoko hugged him tightly for support, not daring to stop the waltz. Prince Ren expertly swirled her through the purples of sunset.

"Nonsense, you are doing great," his voice was soothing. "Trust me, I had to accompany worse fairies at their debuts. My father made sure I knew how to lead properly. Did your guardians not teach you how to dance?"

"They taught me how to perfectly dice an onion in all seventeen different colonial ways. But that is what I am truly best at," Kyoko laughed with a tad of hysteria, "You know how the feast got me so busy that I had to skip the dance classes. I was expecting us to just sway back and forth a little... "

"Classes?" he snickered into a box step. "Those are for peasants and children, you are a natural!"

Kyoko hid her face in his chest.

"Not all of us are born with your tender stretchy muscles, you know? And how are you making me, us, do this?" She peeked down at the gaping nobles. "I thought you could not even dry yourself with what was left of your magic."

"Kyoko the Plain I am here and I will not leave you," Prince Ren squeezed her hand. "You just have to trust me."

Kyoko sighed, closed her eyes, and concentrated on the awful song. They swayed and twirled and jumped in the sky. She heard a ' _show off'_ scream, but it did not concern her since it was probably proclaimed by Lady Chiori.

"I think... I can do it."

"Of course you can," Prince Ren pulled her closer. "You were born to fly."

Kyoko laughed lightly.

"Did you drink something, Prince Kuon? Honestly, if you behaved like this half of the time, the whole Princess contest would have been a cake walk."

He smiled in return.

"You just have to wish for it, and I will oblige."

"And what is the point of me _wishing_ you to be _kinder_? What a waste!" Kyoko snorted. "Besides, you are going to vanish on summer solstice after our contract is over. No point in me asking you that if I will never be seeing you again."

Prince Ren halted and the lack of movement made them slowly float down. He smiled and brushed away a tear from her cheeks.

"That was not what I meant."

Kyoko covered his delicate hands with her own strong ones.

"What then?"

All she could focus on was the contrast of his gold hair against the dark sky. She bit her lips anxiously, when he inclined his head, causing their noses to gently brush.

"Silly, just wish me to..."

 _SNAP!_

Kyoko found herself in a cloud of iridescent smoke, and in the next moment, she was falling to the ground, fast. Impressively enough, she landed safely on top of a pile of man's clothes and had her glass jar tightly crushed in her arms.

"Kuon! Are you okay? By all gods, you scared me!"

Inside the pot, the winged creature gave a yawn disproportionately big to his diminutive size.

"Yeah yeah, I overstayed my welcome," he rubbed his eyes and yawned again. "Should have kept an eye on the sun."

" _Yeah_? _Should_?" Kyoko rotated the jar so that her screams could have a better angle. "That was very irresponsible, even for you! You could have shattered and died on this landing!"

"Relax donkey head," Kuon the Bewitching leaned smugly into the glass and winked. "I am in one piece. A safe and sound and hot piece."

The perplexing fairy height combined with her new familiarity of his ways made Kyoko laugh uncontrollably.

"How come the smaller you get the sassiness increases?"

"What can I say? Faires got a knack for the absurd. My human brain was holding me _down_ ," he rubbed his eyes and yawned once more.

"Good to have you back," she wiped a tear of laughter and sighed in relief. "Thank you for the day, your highness. It was the most magically royal experience I could have wished for."

"Glad that we finally clarified how awesome I am," Kuon murmured and slid down the glass. "Well, peasant, now that we got this clear, I need to take a nap."

"Do not worry," Kyoko the Plain got up and retrieved her flower crown, ignoring the mass of ladies that were frantically checking on her conditions. "I've got you, little prince."

§

 **uwu**

 **Damn, this day has been hella long,**

 **Thank you Uni for writing his song,**

 **I couldn't make two words go along.**

 **So now, I'm going to write Quantum Skip,**

 **But I also will be gone for a while on a trip.**

 **So don't worry, I'm not RIP.**

 **I'm moving to London!**


End file.
